Well, I discovered that I am STILL irresponsible as hell, today. What a drag. And here I thought I was so acclimated. DAMN IT!!!! I'm pretty pissed at myself right now. Why does that old Randy (whom I thought I killed inside a prison cell) continue to haunt me?!? Hell, I ain't supposed to be irresponsible!!! HELLO DISEASE! I had you licked........ or so I thought.
What happened? I skipped work today, for no particular reason. Just woke up, decided I wasn't going, and called in sick. What an idiot. Ok, so I did snag this new job I've been going after, and I did make progress on a school project, and I did set up an interview with my P.O. for tomorrow to discuss reinstating my license. But it was still irresponsible.
It is a slap in the nuts to come to the realization that I don't have that part of my life under total control. Fucking character defects! Can't I just take a pill for this damned disease???? Please? I am so discusted with myself right now. Then, I blew off a meeting.... which obviously I need, because now I want nothing more than to escape this battle in my idiot brain.
You know, one thing I am grateful for today is that just for today, I am clean. Don't want to be right now. But I am. And even in my "kicking myself in the head" mode, I am aware that this is a gift of my recovery. It shows me all is not lost...... I gotta go do a post for school. I have till 11:59 EST to post it. Procrastinated till the last minute! What? You thought I had only ONE character defect? Stay tuned!!
By the way, if anyone of note drops by..... thanks for saying HI today. It was appreciated!
Also by the way, I can't figure out the link section yet, so forgive me. Too bad, because I have a couple of great ones to share... anyone care to give a noob pointers, I'm all ears!!
Thanks!!! Till next time......
"In the still, small voice one can often hear the shout of ETERNITY calling him to attention"
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3 comments:
Well now, Mr. Randy...it seems that you are quite the word-smith! Who knew?
Keep blogging, I am enjoying reading your experience and thoughts. Oh, and about today...give yourself a break, eh? None of us is perfect. Not one.
A clean day is a successful day, even if all we could do was stay clean and show up for life (but not necessarily work!)
Why does everyonein Holland keep their blogs a secret?! This is brilliant Randy, I love it!
Well, I'm not sure if I am considered a person of "note"....lol! But screw it I'm commenting ANY-damn-way! Don't beat yourself up over skipping work and missing a meeting...we all have days like that. Hell..I'm not even sure if I remember where Maple IS anymore or how to get BACK there! (maybe I need to call someone for a ride)...The sun WILL come out tomorrow, or so I've been told; let me know when you see it so I can look too, k?
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